My heart breaks for you. He is a beautiful baby boy. I know how you feel. He will always be with you. I lost one of my twins 36 years ago. A boy named John, and tho the pain will ease, it will never completely go away. Treasure the pictures and the time you got to spend with him, back when John was born, he lived 36 hrs, I never got to hold him, and no one even though to take pictures. And I didn't get to say goodbye, he passed at a different hospital. Now there are forums you can go to to talk with others who like you have lost their babies, their hearts. If you are interested, you can email me. Lots of Love and Prayers to you, Sherry